Dealing with Death
by addictedtoscandal
Summary: Fitz and Mellie dealing with the death of their son.


It's been a little more than a month since Jerry's death, and everyday seems like I'm living it all over again. Everything reminds me of my son. Everything reminds me of the mother I was to him.. I could have done so much more. Held him more. Kissed him more. Told him I loved him more. I try so hard not to think of what I should have done, but it consumes my thoughts.

I'm reading in the residence that morning when Fitz walks in interrupting my thoughts. He sees that I'm awake and walks over to me.  
"Hey, Mels." He says softly. Surprisingly enough, he's been a champ through all of this. He had a major breakdown in the oval, the night of his reelection. I held him and he cried for hours. We both did. We cried for our dead son, we cried for another four years, we cried for the loss of our marriage - we cried for everything. The next morning I awoke to find him staring at me as I slept in our bed.

*flashback* Mellie's POV  
I'm slowly but surely waking up as the sun peers through the curtains in the master bedroom. I haven't opened my eyes yet, but I can tell Fitz is next to me. His faint cologne is wafting into my nose. I open my dry, swollen eyes to see him staring at me.  
"Hey.. you're finally awake." He says quietly, almost like a whisper.

"Yeah. What time is it?" I ask.  
"Early. Not even 7 yet."  
I nod my head. I struggle with the next part. "I.. I don't think I want to get out of bed today. I'm not ready to face everyone in my office. They'll want to apologize and talk, and I'm just not ready for…"  
"Mellie," he cuts me off, "you don't have to do anything you don't want to do." He scoots closer to me in the bed and rests his hand on my face. "We lost a son," he says. Hearing him say this is like a ton of bricks being laid on my chest. I can feel the tears brimming in my eyelids. "Fitz…" I whisper, trying not to let the dam break. "No one is expecting anything of you. I know I'm not. I have a nation to address, I know that, but my priorities right now are you and Teddy and Karen. I'll take care of you. It's you and me, alright?" That was always our thing. It was never 'always & forever' or 'forever & a day', but 'it's you and me' is what Fitz and I would always. I'm surprised we didn't have it engraved on our wedding rings.  
"Yeah," I say. "It's you and me." At this I move my head into my husband's chest and begin to cry again. Everything hurts - my brain, my heart, my body. The only thing that feels right are Fitz's arms around me.  
*end flashback*

"Hey," I say.  
"How's your day going?" He questions. He knows the answer to that being that I haven't left the residence in nearly a week and I'm still in my pjs at 10 in the morning.  
"Okay, I guess. Cyrus dropped of these files earlier to distract me I think."  
"Is it working?" He asks.  
"Not enough," I say with a slight chuckle. Fitz just gives me a sideways grin.  
"I ran into Rachel on the way here. She asked me to tell you that everyone in the East Wing misses the First Lady and is looking forward to your arrival back to work next week."  
"I miss them too," I say. "This time off, I've needed it, but I'm thinking that getting back into the swing of things and getting some normalcy will hopefully be the first step in moving on."  
"Whatever you need, Mels." He says as he sits next to me on the couch. "I was wondering if you maybe wanted to have lunch with me in the oval in a few hours? I could use the company and some conversation on something other than Iran and immigration."  
I laugh a little at this, "I'd love to, but I need to finish reading over these files, and I really wasn't planning on changing out of my pajamas today," I say.  
"Okay then, I'll see you at dinner," He says, kissing my forehead as his goodbye.

Twenty minutes later and I can hear someone entering the bedroom again. I turn around to see none other than Andrew Nichols.

"Mellie…" He says to me.  
"Andrew. What are you doing here?" I ask.  
"I came to check on you. I haven't seen you since…"  
"Since my son died." I complete the sentence for him.  
"I just wanted to make sure you were okay."  
"No. Okay? No, I am not okay and I don't really know when I will be. I appreciate you coming by here, but I'm not dressed and I really wasn't expecting company so if you'd please leave."  
"Come on, I've seen you in less than that."  
"That's not the point!" I assure him.  
"That is the point!" He says, raising his voice.  
"I've been intimate with you, Mellie. I've loved you. I've saved your life so don't treat me like some staffer, intruding on your day of leisure. I'm here to check on you. I'm here because I care."  
I wasn't expecting that. "Andrew," I say quietly, "please just.." I can't even finish my sentence before Fitz walks in with an angry look on his face.  
"What the hell is this?!" He questions.  
"Nothing, Andrew was just leaving."  
"No, actually I wasn't."  
"Andrew, please just…" but Fitz cuts in. "I believe she just asked you to leave so I suggest you get the hell out of mine and my wife's bedroom before I'm forced to give you another black eye."  
"Fitzgerald!" I yell.  
Andrew just rolls his eyes. "This isn't over, Mellie." He says to me before leaving the residence.  
I'm angry now, at both of them.  
"So..," Fitz starts and I know this is going to be interesting. "You couldn't have lunch with your husband because you had to have a mid-afternoon rendezvous with your boyfriend."  
"He's not my boyfriend." I say.  
"Sure seems like it. He's awfully protective over you. I'm gonna have to have a talk with your agents. There was no reason he should have been let in here."  
"Oh, stop it. I'm not a baby, Fitz. I'm a grown woman. I can take care of myself. God knows I've got along just fine the last fifteen years without you."  
"What the hell is that suppose to mean?" He questions me.  
"It means that I'm perfectly capable of telling Andrew to leave without you barging in here and disrespecting the both of us."  
"Funny, because I think the person being disrespected here is myself. I came to bring lunch to you since you didn't want to come into the oval, only to find my wife wearing nothing other than a nightgown, and my vice president gawking at her."  
"He was not gawking."  
"Yes, he was."  
"No, he wasn't." I say annoyed.

"Whatever, Mellie." He says, starting to pace, his hand on his hip.  
"I'm gonna go. There's lunch in the dining room if you want to eat." He says as he starts to leave.  
"Fitz, wait…" I say. I don't know why I speak up. This man is a tyrant when he doesn't get his way.

"I swear I didn't ask him to come here. I had no idea. There was no 'rendezvous' as you put it. He simply wanted to check on me and make sure I was okay since Jerry's death."  
"Who does he think he is?! I'm your husband. I'm checking on you. I'm making sure you're okay. He doesn't need to step in."  
"Fitz, just calm down, okay? He was just being a friend." I say softly.  
"I'm still going to talk with your agents. Cyrus, myself, and the kids are the only people you need to see until you go back to work."  
"The only people I need to see, or the only people you want me to see?" I ask with a hint of annoyance.  
"Mellie, I'm protecting you. I'm showing up for you. This is what you want, right?"  
"I.. I.. yeah. This is what I want." I say. Truthfully, all I want right now is for my husband and I to stop arguing and for my son to still be alive.  
"Okay, then I'll see you at dinner." He walks over to me and I think we're both confused as to what his next move might be. He takes my face in his hands and slowly leans in. I can taste his breath and smell his aftershave. God, this man is beautiful. He leans in and captures my lips with his own. I place my hands on his ribs and melt into him. It isn't sexual, it's beautiful. It's husband and wife, with a lot of grief in between them, kissing for the first time in months. He slowly slides his tongue into my mouth and we continue to kiss for another thirty seconds before he's pulling away.  
"I'll see you at dinner." I say with a smile on my face.  
"Goodbye, Mels." He says to me with an equal smile, before walking out.


End file.
